jegyzeteket#7 (visszhang) notes#7 (echo)

1. to slow down
10th december 2008
2. keverés superimpositions
19th december 2008

for otá some time idő

the measure mérték of the distance changed

the last time idő here itt allows me to approach közeledezni hardly the unlimitedness of the folds of this linguistic space :
I begin hardly to distinguish it : to focus
and imagine the incredible sharpness of this language

focus is an idea fogalomak

I am not nem vagyok and will never be nem soha fog vagyok somewhere else that in this trembling state where the vision / where the camera approaches the object to be seized

as everything gets the attention, the known, the emergent, the stranger
everything is movement mozgás

some stabilizations become a reality in poems or videoletters, so many manners to go towards, to prepare the ground of the crossed territory terület

every day is movement into the language

here, what takes place there, in the time of this singular experiment of dumping, is weighed up with what happens every day :
to go through incessantly the fields of code
in one permanent comings and goings of approach of sensation of emotion and pleasure, and rejection, incomprehension, where I can only be, myself, behind the limits of my being lét

I forgot that I am, speaking, when I understand everything and when I’m understood

but when the language becomes again a frontier (which is the case, in spite of the first faltering steps of the daily life élet, the rough patch is permanent, and beautiful szép

what matters today is to slow down the focus

it is to hold, to stretch what takes place when the contact is made

at the moment pillanat when…, to find again the position, quality of the event, its quality of unthinkable from where everything follows what happens after, after the event, after the meeting is just comments, clearing up, attemps to replay the event esemény, which becomes, so, a story

one way out : to stay in the Time, not the one, contracted, of the story or of the act itself, but the one of experiment tapasztalt

together, into the experiment : something has to be transmitted of the inner quality of the event, of its deep meaning

what poems allow költeményt, for example

every thing minden I hear, every thing I read olvasok, the whole is van an opacity
but de
I begin to recognize, and to remember emlékezni
reading the text szöveg of the city város and to recognize what they say
in what I hear
in their conversations társalgásat all the people are talking as if they are alone and if nobody understands them… like me
at those moments, what i see seems to make the world match with what I live in

when

the words I understand, the hungarian ones, I only understand them on the surface, I can link them with a meaning, I know they mean something I know

but their only surface I can approach :
I only heard them 10, 20 or maybe already 100 times, but in no way thousands and thousands of times like hugarians. And each time in a different context. Which build and makes grow the meaning of the word itself
we can imagine the infinite space of only one word… and in the same time, infinity matches with reduction, the word is also reducing what it definites…

all the scales are there at the same moment in the language, when we are talking

I still stay out of the common meaning shared by everyone here :
it allows me to work dolgozni

the language as fiction of the world világ (an old idea)
the language which allows to catch and in the same time which removes us from the Other, whatever it/he is

the words of the city are informative, communication ones, it’s an imposed language
the videoletters destroy that non choi, plitting up the communication context and writes a text, which possibly open to a grammar of the being, a grammar there where all the being is lead by the pulsion of desire

2. keverés superimpositions
19th december 2008

thoses last days
everywhere
in the streets, in the malls, tram, metro, shopping centers
faces, bearings
which remind me, for a furtive moment
know faces, bodies and gestures of friends or people I know
strange and maybe suspicious rememberings

and

I enter more and more naturally into the hungarian language
I’m far from speaking it, of course
but it’s in me, somewhere
and I begin to understand too much what I red and what I hear when I walk in the city
the meaning interfere with the sound of the language
I don’t like
… I have to concentrate to regain the first state, when that language was just sound and desire…